Last week I fell.
Fell down a rabbit hole, after the ever unattainable beast into an exciting new land with characters of strange habit and personality… A land I had visited once before, full of colours, favours, sights and sounds. A city I was excited to be traversing through once more.
But as Alice fell through a rabbit hole in search of something worth dreaming of, so did I and what falls from on high lands hard below.
Last week I spent 6 amazing days away attending a four-day conference called Presence 2014 in Sydney with a few church friends, hoping to make along the way some classic “inpursuit” life changing moments to be able to share with you, my readers.
And it is those beautiful moments which I had wished to write about in todays blog.
But as it turns out, the experience is one in which I cannot find words to describe. I enjoyed my time with my friends as we traveled and experience new places, the conference was mind-blowing – life changing – and I even made some new friends. But as the character I have become to associate myself with did, I experienced a lot of set-backs too. I fell, truly, like Alice and became lost among the beauty of Wonderland.
Alice in Wonderland is one of my favourite childhood stories. Why?
It is a story about self-discovery, a story about beliefs (be it in oneself or others) and ultimately the story follows Alice on her journey through hardships and triumph. I guess I am choosing to explain my holiday in Sydney as a trip through Wonderland because it had forced me to handle, face and fight things that I had not been ready to face.Alice, throughout Wonderland meets many strange and curious characters whom question her sanity, her beliefs and her identity. I wish that I could pretend otherwise, but my holiday in Sydney, the people I traveled with and the characters I have met made me question those very things about myself.
I spoke in my earlier blog about Alice standing at a fork in the road – questioning anyone whom may listen – “please, which way I ought to go from here?”
I wrote about that part of the story because then I was Alice – standing at a fork in my own journey – asking anyone whom may be listening to help me understand which way I should go. Well, I can tell you readers now – like Alice’s choice – my choice has led me down a path I can only hope ends with the peace of mind Alice received at the end of her journey.
It seems as if everything has had to happen the hard way or no way at all for me. It has always been the high road, the long road, the pain and confusion filled road. And this road was no less bumpy.
During my time in Sydney I had an interview for a study scholarship, a scholarship that would pay for one year of study and would help me live out of home, in a new city, on the other side of the country. But it was not meant to be.
I guess the reason I relate to Alice’s journey through Wonderland is because her story is full of set backs, 180 degree turn arounds, trials and tests and negative minded people who forced her to grow and strengthen within.
I think I will always be asking the question “where should I go from here?”, which I believe we all should be doing; leaning not on our own understanding but on someone whom has gone before and knows the road ahead.
I have not recieved the very much needed support of a study scholarship. There was also the hurt that the bad news carried which I had to battle through the rest of my week away. And I spent a lot of time asking questions and seeking and searching.
And now, when time has past and there has been an opporunity to think I can appreciate the road I chose and look back at the good that did come.
My week in Sydney at Presence 2014 can be sumed up to one realisation, a lesson I feel is more of a revalation God wanted to remind me of; “Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out- do something extraordinary!”
And that is what I shall do.