Now don’t get me wrong. I believe in the magic of God’s love. I understand the things he has promised and for the most part I can believe them. I know there is purpose for my life, I know that God loved me so much that he created this world with me in mind. But I can also understand why some others question it all.
There have been times, I will admit wherein I didn’t know how to be happy, so I would chase it as if I chased the very sun its self. In truth, I was never chasing happiness, I don’t believe happiness has a form one can hold on to, not for long. What I can now see I was chasing was my purpose in this world.
There have been times wherein I couldn’t see far into the future and that scared me. And although I dreamt, I only dreamt with my eyes open. Why, it was less painful to lose myself in some daydream about some book I was reading than admit; it’s hard to live your life with a purpose if you have no vision.
When I was younger people would use words like special to describe me, gifted, talented; that I could amount to anything if only I tried. And it is important to uplift others, to encourage others and in turn surround yourself with people who lift you up. But hearing nice encouragements and positive life tips is not enough to answer all the questions one has, or heal the hurt that misunderstanding can course.
We long to know, who are we and what are we meant to do with our lives? We crave guidance, a sign from above that we are on the right track, that we are here for a reason.
Now please understand – I am still searching, still on the road and still as lost as anyone else is in this department. But I no longer fear dreaming or trying to work out what lays in my future. Why?
Because now I know that even though this road is hard, I have been put here for a reason.
In the last year alone I have traveled around WA performing to over 70 schools, speaking from the heart about my life and the troubles I have faced. I performed with some amazing actors, worked with amazing writers and set designers and met so many powerful minds that I never dreamed of meeting. I lead on a Performing arts camp and taught 4 non dancers to shine and perform and love the power that one can be filled with when they let God lead their steps. I have preached to those campers and lead small group discussions. I experienced my first adult relationship, my first bad breakup and my first taste of what I deserve.
You see, that is why I am no longer worried about feeling lost when it comes to understanding my purpose here. I never dreamt about half of the things that I have experienced in the last year alone and even if looking to the future is worrying for you, I want you to let yourself try.
Because I tried, even when all I saw was dark and confusing; now I have new dreams and new passions and new confidences in myself. Now I am writing the blog I have meant to write for years. Now I am event planning and script writing again and planning holidays and study…..
So join me and dream, for it is only when you open yourself to the possibility of God answering you and giving you a dream that you can receive a vision.