In Pursuit

Happy new Year!
You can watch my latest/first video of the year entitled My dream for 2015 by following the link over to my YouTube channel.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, have only ever made one; to make the most of every moment. I made that early morning, on the first day of 2014 while pulling a spontaneous all nighter. But I have the fear of missing out, always saying Yes simply because I hate the idea of others experiencing something without me. And resolving to make the most of every situation could have been the worst thing I have ever done to myself.

Now that that year is over I can look at 2014 in a positive light despite all the trouble and tribulation; I really did try to make the most of every moment and can say I have accomplished a lot because of doing so. This very blog which I began in March 2014 is a perfect example. I had wanted to find an outlet for my thoughts and feeling but also somewhere where those things could help people.  I had for even longer wanted to reach a young audience and speak into their life and now I have my own YouTube channel which is going so well.

And now a new leaf has been turned; it is 2015 and it is time for me to make the changes within so that I can make this world a better place. I may not believe in New Year resolutions but each year I write a small list of dreams; a list of things I am hoping for throughout that year. Then I pray, long and hard over those things and give them over to God.

Last year I prayed for a new dream because I didn’t feel like a had anything to write. I was worried that wasn’t really anything to ask for at all and it was hard pray for something that I felt like I wouldn’t get. But in no time at all I began to see my future and it was nice. It was clear. It was bright and for the first time in my life it felt possible. I had a new dream.

I have written on this blog about one particular dream as being both a possibility and as nothing more than a sad pipe dream. But I can luckily say now that dreams can come true. In February I am going to be moving my entire life to Sydney to begin afresh. I have been accepted into C3 College in the northern beaches of Sydney to study a Cert IV in Acting and theatre craft. But I don’t really want to study; it frightens me to the core. I have failed at school and at Tafe and the idea of committing myself to even just one year of study is daunting. But I do want to challenge myself and moving out is something I have wanted for a while.

To prepare for this monumental change I have decided to write only a few none specific dreams for this year. I believe that they will be able to help me manage both the studying and the matter of living out of home. My first is to: believe, without a doubt that I am already qualified and are more than capable of achieving everything I would like to do. I have failed so many times and had so many setbacks that it is such an amazing feeling to go into this year feeling ready for it all. To know that I am going to be able to do something that I have wanted to do for so long is so calming. To not have to worry about what is next or find something to do with my year, I have it all set. I just want to be able to face every set back and let down of this year with a new positive mindset; to know that I am capable; I just need to give it a go.

The second dream I have written for 2015 is: To not be afraid of growth – to not fear being challenged or stretched but accept that when I am, I am also strengthened. I wrote down that I would like to be stretched and challenged for 2013 and I wish that I hadn’t. It was an amazing year in which I learned so much and saw so much and made a real difference in people lives. But it was hard and I wish I hadn’t been silly enough to accept that I still had some growing up to do. But I realise now that I cannot fear growth. I need to hold my head high when the waters rise and know that the hardships I face now prepare for the troubled water to come.

My third dream which I hand over to God and plan to hold tightly to is: Take comfort in my differences – because different doesn’t make it wrong. And I believe that until I can accept every aspect of myself I will never be able help others believe in themselves too.  If I learned anything out of all the pain of 2014 it is that I have been made this way out of love and I was made to love. So I hope to be able to remember this and accept myself and not be so hard on myself anymore.

Please check out the video too and let me know what you think. What are you hoping for this year? What are some of the dreams you have for your life? And what can you do now in 2015 to prepare yourself for your future? Let me know in comments because I would love to hear what your own plans are for this year. And come on, join me this year. Take at look at yourself and make a change so that you may be able to make this world a better place for others. Join me and become a difference maker.

Would love your feedback

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