Today marks the last day – for this year – of core subject classes here at C3 College and although it may just be the lack of sleep talking or the cabin fever of study life but I feel overwhelmed with a stupid level of – what I can only call –gratitude. And so I write this entry today not so much to give you any spiritual insight or riveting story but more, well just because; I have some thanking to do and where better to express myself, share my experiences or record my memories than on my blog right?
Ok so let me begin by filling you beautiful peeps in on what has happened since we last caught up.
Firstly, finishing up term three was my college’s ministry trip in which I travelled north to Brisbane and oh my, was that a crazy experience. Think backyard blitz’s, office moving days on steroids and hour long prophetic prayer/worship sessions. And on the back of that my mum visited Sydney for a city getaway; a weekend of exploring historical landmarks, sipping chai lattes and sharing gluten free pasta. And there are no words that accurately describe how refreshing of a time that weekend was. It was like medicine, washing over the wound; a wound I didn’t even know I had, a wound so old and out of place I didn’t see it until it was healed. I hadn’t realised it but all I wanted was for my mum to say she was proud of me and to look at me as the adult I feel I am now. Then term four kicked off with a bang and just hasn’t let up. Picture this; assistant directing an acting third year’s major work, completing all assessments, readings and online exams by today, in class prayer sessions with healing and visions and epic chapel worship, crazy Tuesday themed dress-up’s, my last acting faculty performance for the year and watching my friends performing for their time as C3 College students. And this weekend, Christmas production. Oh wow, has all of that happened in only seven weeks? And think about the other three terms before all that!
This year has felt like a life time and yet, here I stand at the end of it all wondering when the time passed. It only feels like yesterday that I watched my dad drive away towards the airport, leaving me to face the music. That was in February! I feel all out of whack; time doesn’t move lineally anymore. So much has happened and despite the fact that I’m not one for journaling I remarkably can remember everything I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing.
I write this post today to demonstrate to you the importance of reminding yourself of both the good and bad things you have faced. More importantly, I would like to experience the same joy that I do now after giving thanks for all, the good and the bad times. Today in my last class of Character and Spiritual Formation we celebrated the discipline of celebration by giving thanks to God for what we have experienced this year. A number of people stood up in front of the class and gave short thanksgiving speeches, each person expressing the joy and gratitude they now feel, now that they can say they made it through. And although I didn’t stand up, although I didn’t give a speech to the class I did write down what I would give thanks for because despite the dark areas of my life that are still being worked on, if this year has taught me anything it’s that I do have a lot to thank God for.
Thinking back to the girl I was at the beginning of this year and comparing it with the women that now looks back at me from within the mirror is a humbling experience. In fact I don’t believe that a true comparison can be made between me and that girl because I don’t feel like that person anymore. I feel different and I’m grateful for that. Sure a lot of negative, unpleasant and troubling situations have occurred throughout this year but I am not at all resentful or regretful. I am thankful that despite my uncertainty, despite my lack of faith and despite my fears God never wavered. He was truly my guide, my partner leading me in this crazy dance.
I am thankful that my three dreams for 2015 came to pass; to believe, without a doubt that I’m already qualified and are more than capable of achieving everything I want to achieve; to not fear growth or failure but actually embrace challenge and understand that it is when I am forced out of my comfort zone that I am strengthened; and finally to take comfort in my differences. I think that for maybe the first time in my life I actually feel proud of myself and am happy with the person I have become.
I am ever so grateful to have been accepted into a higher education course. I am so grateful that I was able to move and that despite having to move houses four times throughout the year I am now a part of an amazing college student household.
I am unexplainably thankful to be graduating this course. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had this year to help people, to perform, to try new things and even to travel. I am thankful that contrary to what I may believe about myself every now and then God made me this way for a reason and proved to me – countless times throughout the year – why. I’m grateful that He has said I am free. I still can’t help but question how that can be but I’m grateful that He rights my wrongs and breaks my chains contrary to what I may have faith to understand.
I’m thankful and unexplainably overjoyed for the healing of ear left ear. For anyone who knows me personally you would know of the struggle I have had with inner ear conditions, tumours and hearing loss. Well, all of that trouble is in the past. I can hear in my left ear!
I’m also thankful for the reignited passions and visions He lit within me this year and last but not least, I’m thankful for whatever may be coming next.
My Difference Makers, over the next month, as you finish up this year I encourage you to take stock of all the things you have experienced throughout the past year. And even if you find you it difficult, give thanks for what you have had and get excited because more is to come.